


A Thorned Road

by OrmondSacker



Series: Fulcra [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Fluff, Force-Sensitive Finn, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Up, Unwanted Sexual Advances, because that should be damn obvious from this instalment forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 23:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6774964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrmondSacker/pseuds/OrmondSacker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having shaken off the First Order's pursuit, Finn and Poe find that the rebel cell they were delivering weapons to have been discovered and executed, and they have to hide out in the bad part of town until they can make it off planet.</p><p>Of course, in the bad part of town, bad things happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Thorned Road

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by [lucycantdance](https://lucycantdance.tumblr.com)

The cantina was one of those that would politely be called run-down, though no one in this part of town cared to be polite about it and called it a dump. The paint was peeling off the walls, the tables had scorch marks from blaster shots that no one had concerned themselves with removing and the clientele were thugs and killers, but the drinks were cheap and the First Order were unlikely to come calling. Their hold on the system was tenuous enough that too hard a crack down this early would lead to open revolt. They might be fascists, but they weren't stupid.

It was that last thing that had made up Finn's and Poe's mind when they looked for a place to lay low until they could get off the planet.

On foot and by hitching rides they had made it to Mereez, the capital of Parmai, without incident after their spectacular crash, only to find that the situation was much worse than they had feared.

The city was crawling with First Order troops and they had only narrowly got away, somehow making their way to one of the provincial towns without getting caught.

But that wasn't the worst. The small group of rebels that they had been carrying weapons for had been found by the First Order and holovids of their fate had been broadcast publicly for all to see. The sight of what had happened had turned Finn's stomach and Poe had gone a shade of grey that Finn had never seen on a human being before.

The experience had left them both feeling depressed and when their initial efforts to try and find a way off planet only met with futility and frustration, their moods only grew worse. But through luck or the Force they ran into Lon Das, an old Duros freighter captain, who seemed to hate the First Order and their new regiment with a passion and was reckless enough to go against them. He also had a romantic streak.

They had given him a story about being lovers trying to escape from their families, but the First Order's takeover had made it impossible as they couldn't take any official transport for fear of their respective families finding out and that tale had clinched the deal for the Duros. He'd agreed to transport them to the nearest neutral planet. Now all they had to do was wait until he had prepared his ship for launch.

Staying at the space port was too risky. It was in the slightly better part of town and there were too many troops around; if they lingered there they would be spotted eventually. So instead they had gravitated to the bad part of town, locating a bar where they could spend the time without attracting any notice.

Settling down with a pair of whatever passed for drinks in this place, Finn finally had time to think about things other than their immediate predicament. Not that he really wanted to.

The holos of the rebels' execution ran on repeat in his mind and that made him remember Jakku.

A hand on his arm startled him out of his thoughts. Looking up he saw his own worries and fears mirrored in Poe's weary eyes. The affectionate squeeze the pilot gave him, along with a too tight smile made him try to smile in return, but his face refused to cooperate.

“Listen I need the fresher for a moment. Whatever this is, it's going straight through me. You gonna be okay?” Poe asked.

Finn nodded.

“I think I can manage on my own for a few minutes,” Finn answered drily.

Poe patted his arm and rose, leaving Finn alone with his thoughts.

He tried best he could to push the memory away, to forget how it had felt as he stood there helpless to prevent the massacre happening in front of him. He had felt uncomfortably... naked and... open, every scream a stab of pain in his soul and with each death it had felt as if part of him had been torn away. The same strange feeling he had had when the Hosnian system was destroyed, except that had been much more vague. But neither event was something he cared to dwell on or relive.

Taking his glass he drained his drink hoping the burn of alcohol would sear away the memories.

A shadow fell across him. Looking up Finn found a tall, broad shouldered Zabrak, dressed in a worn jacket, torn pants and with a vibro blade sheathed in his belt, leaning in over the table. The male alien reeked of smoke and alcohol, and Finn fought not to grimace.

“Seems like you've run dry, handsome. Let me buy you another.” The thug leered at him. The tone made Finn’s skin crawl, but a quick look around made it clear that at least seven of the other patrons were the Zabrak’s hanger-ons, so removing himself from the situation wasn’t an option. Three of the Zabrak’s posse were between him and the door, another two between him and the fresher. Not good odds. He’d be grabbed before he could go anywhere.

“Thanks, but I'm waiting for someone.” Finn said unsmiling, meeting the Zabrak's eyes with a level gaze.

“The pretty human? Forget him, I can show you a lot more fun.”

The thug reached out and cupped Finn’s chin with his hand, caressing Finn's cheek with his thumb. Finn had to use every bit of self-restraint he possessed not to lash out. Instead he forced himself to sit still and hold the Zabrak's gaze while trying to come up with a way out of this.

Odds were bad, eight against one, all of them armed and him not, and even if Poe came back out it wouldn't be a fight he wanted to take if he could avoid it. But he might not have a choice.

The table was bolted down, the cantina owner probably tired of it being used in fights, so there was no help there. The wall behind the table was bare, totally bereft of a window or any kind of decoration that he could use to defend himself.

The Zabrak put one knee on the bench Finn was sitting on and leaned forward, invading the young man's space, making him reflexively lean backwards. Putting one hand behind his back to steady himself, the tips of Finn's fingers brushed against their packs that had been dumped on the seat.

_Weapon? No, not against this many._

Still he wrapped his fingers around the straps, heart now beating rapidly in his chest. If he found a way to bolt he didn't want to leave the packs behind.

Grabbing his chin, the Zabrak forced Finn's face up and it took everything the young soldier had not to knee the thug in the groin, but he had seen two of the Zabrak's companions start moving towards them, hands on their weapons, so he curbed his instinct to fight. The thug's free hand came to rest on his chest, fingers caressing Finn's pectoral.

“Someone as gorgeous as you shouldn't be left alone,” the Zabrak growled. “And I promise I'm good company.”

“I think you're in my seat,” Poe snapped.

In watching the two goons Finn had completely missed Poe's approach, but now the pilot was standing right behind the Zabrak, poking him on the shoulder.

_What! No. Poe!_

Finn felt his heart leap into his chest. He tried to catch Poe's eyes, signal him about the danger from behind, but the pilot's eyes were firmly on the Zabrak. The thug slowly turned his head and looked back over his shoulder.

“Then maybe you should have kept it,” the Zabrak growled.

“I can take it back.”

_What the hell was Poe thinking?_

Poe's arm moved as if he was going to throw a punch, only to find himself grabbed and held fast by the two thugs that had been approaching from behind. The Zabrak rose leisurely to his feet and pulled the vibro blade out of its sheath in his belt.

The whole cantina sounded hushed to Finn and the electric hum of the blade was deafening to his ears.

_no, no, no, no._

Finn, still leaning back on the bench, felt his stomach drop. He should have done something, the numbers be damned. First combat lesson he had been taught at age twelve: hesitance is death on the battlefield. He had hesitated and now they might both be dead.

The two thugs, humans both, had Poe pinned by the arms. A very professional grip, they clearly knew what they were doing. Probably wasn't the first time they did it, a thought that made Finn's mouth go even drier than it already was.

He rose slowly to his feet trying to remain inconspicuous.

The Zabrak leaned in over Poe, grabbed his hair and yanked back his head, placing the blade against the pilot's throat. Between the light pressure and the blade's vibrations it nicked the skin and a thin line of blood trickled down Poe’s neck.

“You were saying?” the Zabrak growled.

_Please don't say anything. Don't provoke him._

Finn was desperately looking about the room for anything – anyone – that would help. There had to be something he could do, it couldn't end like this.

Maybe the waitress was new and unused to these kinds of ruckuses, or maybe she just had a bad day, but the crash of the glasses she dropped at that moment distracted the Zabrak, causing him to look away from Poe for an instant.

This time Finn didn't hesitate.

He launched himself forward and snatched hold of the thug's wrist. A loud crack was followed by a scream as he snapped the delicate bone, the vibro blade slipping from now numb fingers.

The attack surprised the two humans holding Poe and their grip momentarily loosened. The pilot used the opening and let himself go limbless, letting his body weight break their hold.

Swinging their bags as a bola Finn clocked one human thug on the side of the head, sending him reeling, but in doing so he left himself wide open to attack from the second, whose fist connected with his ribs with a loud crack.

The young man staggered for an instant before regaining his balance. The second thug pressed his advantage, but Finn managed to block the blow aimed at his midriff.

The first human had regained his bearings and grabbed Finn around the shoulders, trying to pin his arms. Finn reached behind him, seizing hold of his opponent's shirt and, leaning forward, tossed him over his shoulder. The throw sent the thug on collision course with his companion.

Finn snapped around on his heel to check on Poe, to find that the pilot had not been idle. A third thug that had got involved was lying in a heap by the bar and the Zabrak was on his knees in front of him. Poe was holding the Zabrak's own vibro blade at the thug's throat, the look on the pilot's face wild, angry and out of control, very unlike anything Finn had ever witnessed. A look he didn't like one bit.

“Poe!” The sound of Finn's voice appeared to snap Poe back to himself. The Zabrak used the momentary distraction to try and pull away, but Finn leapt close and pushed him back down.

“Don't even think about that,” he snapped. “Tell the others to back off!”

The Zabrak gave a quick jerk of his head and the remaining thugs started to back away.

Breathing hard Finn took the knife from Poe, keeping it against the Zabrak's throat.

“Up!”

The Zabrak yelped as Finn pulled him to his feet, jarring the broken wrist in the process.

Holding the thug at knife point, Finn backed him towards the door, while keeping one eye on the rest of the goons. One quick look over his shoulder assured him that Poe was following. At any other time he'd have taken it as a given, but after the look he'd just seen on the pilot's face he had to check for himself. Well, at least Poe got the point and opened the door as they reached it. Finn had been worrying about that as his hands were sort of full.

Out on the street he gave the Zabrak one quick shove that sent him sprawling, before grabbing Poe and running for their lives. As they turned a corner down the street Finn could hear shouts starting behind them, but if there was any pursuit it was far too far behind them to catch up.

Five streets further on Finn started to slow, starting to get winded. He still wasn't quite back into the shape he'd been in before his defection. If they made it back to base alive, he was going to do something about that.

Looking sideways at Poe to see how he was doing, Finn caught sight of the slow trickle of blood down his throat and out of nowhere his fear sparked into anger, making him come to a dead stop.

“What were you _thinking_!”

It came out much louder than he had intended and the heads of several passersby turned towards them, taking in their disheveled state, out of place even in this part of town.

“Not here.” Poe said in a low voice as he kept walking.

Finn grabbed his arm forcibly stopping him.

“Wrong answer.”

Poe snapped to a halt, turning about and leaned in close to Finn.

“Don't make a scene. We can't really afford to draw attention to ourselves right now. So keep walking and pretend nothing happened.” With that the pilot started walking again.

“ _Don't-_ ”

Poe sent him a sharp look over the shoulder.

Finn stared at his retreating back, silently seething.

_Don't make a scene? That was rich coming from Poe after what just happened._

But as much as he hated it right now, Poe was right. They could not afford attention, not even in this part of town.

Swallowing, Finn leashed his anger. It didn't mean the discussion was over though, not by a long shot, just that it would have to wait until they were at a safer location.

 

**oOoOo**

 

Finn had rarely been as relieved to see anything as he was the spaceport – which was most of all a landing strip with a shed used as landing control, but it worked – and the beat up old freighter standing there.

The walk had been a long one – trying to take public transport in their current state would have attracted attention – and they were nearing the time of their appointed rendezvous so they had risked coming directly here, but neither the time passed nor the physical activity had done much to curb his anger. Every time he looked at Poe and saw the wound on his neck, it flared right back up, and though he had managed to keep his tongue so far the leash was beginning to fray.

Lon Das was coming down the lowered cargo ramp as they approached. Giving them both a quick once over, his eyes widened.

“What happened to you?”

“We erh... we ran into some- some trouble back-” Poe stuttered as he waved his hand towards the town.

Poe never could tell a lie straight, but Finn didn't trust himself to even try to speak right then.

“Family?” Das asked and Poe just nodded. Looking very uncomfortable.

“Yours or his?”

“Err-” Finn didn't even have to look to know that Poe was blushing.

“Both?” Finn nodded and Das laughed. “One thing they could agree on then. You two better get yourself on board just to be safe, we'll be taking off as soon as the navi computer has done its diagnostic. Your cabin's the second on the left. And if anyone asks, I've never seen you two in my life.”

Finn was sure Das had noticed both their discomfort, it was hard to miss, but seemed to chalk it up to 'the run-in with their families'. It was hard to believe a seasoned space traveller would fall for that one, but really Das seemed to be quite a romantic beneath the cynical exterior.

Their silence continued until the door to their cabin closed behind them.

“Cariño?” Poe said softly.

Finn stood in the middle of the cabin, trying to get hold of himself, but the sound of Poe's voice and the endearment broke the tenuous hold he had on himself.

Finn spun on his heel and stepped forward so he was chest to chest with the pilot.

“What the _hell_ were you thinking back there? Just tell me that. _What_ went through your head?”

Poe's face had been neutral even a little apologetic, but now anger sprung back out.

“What I was thinking? That my boyfriend was getting assaulted.”

“Assaul- At worst he was pawing me. That is not a reason to jump in there like some rabies infected hawkbat without looking at the odds.”

“So what, you expected me to stand and do nothing while-”

“Yes, yes I did.”

“So you like getting pawed by some complete stranger?”

Finn nearly punched him at that. He couldn't remember ever being this angry in his life.

“No,” he hissed. “I didn't. But did you count the odds? Or couldn't your heroic self be bothered with something that simple before rushing in?”

The look on Poe's face told him everything he needed to know.

“You didn't. You. Damn-” Finn could feel tears of both anger and fear sting his eyes, and his throat clenched up.

He seized hold of Poe by the labels of his jacket and pushed him up against the bulkhead. Poe's eyes went wide and he stiffened reflexively at the manhandling and for a moment the memory of Poe being held by two of the Zabrak's goons and the thug's vibroblade pressed against the pilot's throat came back vividly to Finn.

He let go of Poe's jacket with one hand and let his fingers gently trail beneath the wound. Poe almost jumped at the soft touch.

“Do you have any idea how close you came to dying there?” Finn said, his voice tense and strained as he spoke. “If the pressure had been just a little harder? A little bit more to the left? Or should I give you a lesson in anatomy and how long it takes for a human to bleed out if you cut its throat?”

“So you were prepared to just put up with it?” Poe's tone was no longer accusing, more like puzzled.

“If the alternative was you, both of us, getting killed, then... yes.”

Finn let go and turned away. He suddenly felt so drained of energy that he could barely stand and he put his hands on the table that stood in the middle of the cabin, leaning heavily on it.

“You shouldn't have to, no one should,” Poe said softly from right behind him.

“And _that_ made you think what you did was a good idea? Were you even thinking? You know what, sometimes shit happens and you have to let it go even though you don't want to, because doing anything will only make things worse. And as a minimum you could have trusted me to handle myself.”

Finn felt tears sting his eyes again as he spoke, and he angrily swiped them away.

The silence seemed to stretch on endlessly to Finn, becoming an impossibly heavy weight between his shoulders, pressing him down. It felt as if everything they'd built over the last few weeks was unraveling between his hands and he had no idea how to save it, or if that was even possible.

“Finn?”

Poe's voice was still soft and he stood so close behind Finn that the young man could feel the heat of his body in the cool room.

Finn didn't answer; his voice appeared to have got lost somewhere. Poe put a hand down on the table next to Finn's, close but not quite touching his.

“You were right. It was stupid. I'm sorry.”

“Why?” was all that Finn could get out.

“When I came out of the fresher I saw him having his hands all over you and you looked- You just- You should _not_ have to put up with something that made you so uncomfortable. I got angry and I didn't stop to think. I know you can handle yourself, I just...”

Poe tugged at his shoulder and finally Finn found the strength to straighten up and look at his boyfriend.

The pilot cupped Finn's face between his hands, running his thumbs over the young man's cheekbones and Finn could see that Poe's eyes had gone blank with tears.

“Lo siento, cariño.” vWhile Finn's Alderaanian was still very rudimentary, he understood this without any need for translation. _I'm sorry, sweetheart._

“Poe...”

“I know it doesn't change anything, but I am. About what I did and about what I just said too. That was wrong.”

He pulled Poe closer and the other man stepped into his embrace willingly, gently folding his arms around Finn's shoulders. Finn buried his head in Poe's neck, breathing him in.

As they stood there Finn heard the whine of the starting engines, and though he knew it would be safer to sit down during take-off he didn't feel like letting go of Poe, and the pilot showed no inclination to release him either. As a result they ended up nearly falling over as the ship suddenly titled sharply.

Poe swore under his breath in Alderaanian. At first Finn thought it was at the captain's inept take-off – he knew how much Poe hated incompetent pilots – but then the other man raised a hand to nurse his ribs.

“Here let me see,” Finn said.

“It's nothing. Bruising.” Poe sighed, only to stiffen as he breathed too deeply. “And my own damn fault since I started it.”

The pilot straightened himself laboriously.

“I should be the one asking if you're okay.” he continued. “Are you?”

“Bruised knuckles and I might have pulled something in my shoulder when I flipped one of the thugs,” Finn answered honestly.

Poe looked away. “We were lucky.”

“Yes.” Finn sighed. “Let me at least have a look at your neck, that cut needs to be cleaned.”

Poe nodded and let Finn lead him to sit on the edge of the bunk. The younger man pulled out the med kit from the survival pack.

“Anything you didn't pack?”

“I was trying to get the essentials while keeping weight and bulk down, but basic medical care seemed pretty damn essential to me,” Finn answered in a terse tone.

_Really, what would something that was supposed to heighten the chance of survival be worth if it didn't have a minimum of first aid equipment?_

“I'm sorry, that didn't come out right,” Poe offered in a low tone.

Finn nodded, grabbing one of the sterilizing swabs.

“This may sting a bit. And... I didn't mean to snap at you either.”

He tried to focus on the task at hand, but part of his mind kept wandering. He was still sort of angry, yes, but he wished he hadn't lashed out at Poe – he could see why he had reacted as he did, even if it was an overreaction and a dangerous one. And yes, Poe had apologized, but the anger and fear didn't seem about to leave, it was still low key simmering under his skin.

Relationships were a lot harder in real life than they looked like in the holos.

“There. Done,” he said as he put a patch over the wound to keep it from getting dirty.

Poe took his hands in his.

“Finn, I _am_ sorry.”

The young man let out a heavy breath.

“How many times are you going to say that?”

“Until you think I've said it enough.”

Finn pulled his hands free and started packing up the med kit.

“Well, you can stop. I'd much rather have a promise that you won't do it again.”

“I'll try. Taking risks is part of what we do, but I'll try not to take any stupid ones.”

Finn nodded.

“I'm not asking you to stop taking chances, or being.... you. I just don't want you to throw your life away for nothing.”

“I will never consider protecting someone from assault nothing, but I understand what you mean.” Poe cupped Finn's face and kissed his forehead. “Your shoulder hurting badly?”

“A bit.” He definitely _ha_ d pulled something. Not bad, but enough that it hurt when he moved his arm.

“Take your shirt off and lie down, and I'll see what I can do for it.” Poe said with a tiny smile.

Finn cautiously worked his shirt over his head, favoring the injured shoulder, before tossing it over a nearby chair and lying down on his stomach. It wasn't until he heard Poe's breath catch that he remembered that the pilot had never seen the scar on his back. The only ones who had were Dr Kalonia and the med droids and they had treated it with medical professionalism.

He knew how dramatic it looked, the thumb-wide swath of slightly raised skin, darker than the rest, running across his back from right shoulder to left hip, straight across his spine.

The gentle touch of Poe's fingers to the spot where it crossed made him jump.

“Sorry, does that hurt?”

“No, I was just... It doesn't hurt anymore, not now that it's healed. It feels... fine. I mean, the scar itself is pretty numb, but the rest is... fine.”

Poe ran his fingers along the edge of the scar.

Finn couldn't help feeling a bit... awkward about it all, though he supposed it was better Poe saw it properly _now_ than in a more romantic situation. That would be a mood killer. Then the pilot pressed a soft kiss against his skin right above the place where the scar started at the top of his shoulder, and Finn shivered. The tenderness sent a shower of sparks right to his groin.

“You are the bravest, most stubborn man I know, mi cielo.” The words were all but whispered against his skin and they sent another shiver through him. If he didn't start thinking about something else right away he might not be able to keep his promise to Poe about talking before having sex.

Luckily he had a topic straight at hand.

“Mi... cielo?” That was a term that wasn't in his vocabulary yet.

“My heaven, my sky.”

Finn rolled over half way, ignoring the twinge from his shoulder to look at Poe. The pilot caught his gaze and held it, reaching out and caressing Finn's cheek.

“You are. My sky.”

Finn couldn't have held back a smile at that even if he had wanted to. He turned his head and kissed Poe's palm. It wasn't quite an 'I forgive you', but it was as much as he could manage right now while he still felt raw and a little frightened. Poe seemed to understand, and gave a small smile before indicating that Finn should lie back down.

The young man rolled back over, putting his arms along his sides and tried to loosen his shoulder as much as possible.

Poe's hands slid up across his back until they rested with the thumbs on his neck and the fingers spread out over his shoulder blades. The thumbs started rubbing gentle circles on Finn's skin, barely applying any pressure and slowly working their way down across the shoulders before going back up again, over and over.

The touch was carefully kept light enough that it wouldn't hurt, but still with enough firmness that it served to loosen up the muscles.

Finn sighed into the pillow, relaxing under the massage and feeling the final bit of adrenalin drain out of him. Sleepiness stole over him – the drain of the adrenalin and physical exertion making him crash hard – and he yawned.

Poe's hand drifted away and Finn made a discontented noise. Poe's answering chuckle sounded nice and warm to Finn's ears.

“Sleep, cariño. You've more than earned your rest.”

A hand ran over the back of his head and neck. Finn twisted and grabbed it, tugging Poe down.

“Only if you rest too. You must be as tired as I am, we've been running for days. And I could do with a cuddle.”

Poe kicked off his boots before switching off the light, and curled up against Finn as he pulled the covers over them both. Finn put his head on Poe's shoulder, the warm, solid feeling of muscle and bone comforting him. Poe wrapped his arms around Finn's shoulders, hugging him close.

Finn sighed. Okay, he had experienced one of Poe's less than sterling sides, it was bound to happen just as Poe would get to see his. He could live with that, it was part of the package. The more important thing was that-

“I love you,” Finn muttered, finishing his thought out loud.

Poe went completely still beneath him. Finn frowned.

_Why would he do that? It wasn't like this was the first time he... said it._

Except, he hadn't said before, had he? Not outright. He's said 'I like you', 'you look gorgeous', 'you're really something'. He'd kissed, nuzzled and cuddled Poe, but he had never said those three words to him.

_Kriff._

Well, he was going to fix that right now.

Finn reached out and turned on the bed lamp then looked down at Poe. The pilot had the oddest look on his face.

“I should have said that when I first kissed you. I love you, Poe Dameron.”

Poe's features softened and he reached up and caressed Finn's face gently.

“Finn, te amo.” Poe voice was soft and slightly hoarse. Finn needed no translation and the kiss that followed left him dizzy from its sweetness.

After they parted they simply looked silently at each other until another yawn snuck up on Finn, breaking the moment. Poe pulled him down against his chest once more, turning off the light.

“Sleep, mi cielo. We can talk later.”

Finn sighed and made himself comfortable. A small part of him was still a bit angry, but it didn't

feel very important right now. They were both alive and safe, and whole. The rest they could fix, together.

 

**oOoOo**

 

Poe lay staring up into the dark, listening to the slow, comforting sound of Finn's breath. A sound he'd come dangerously close to never hearing again today thanks to his own stupidity.

Finn had been completely right. Not only had his actions at the cantina been uncalled for at that time, they had been reckless, foolish and come far too close to costing both of them their lives. That they had escaped as uninjured as they had was down to luck, the Force or both. And it made him question if his instincts were still reliable, because normally he was more astute than that.

You didn't fly as a fighter pilot for as many years as he had without good instincts. You had no time to think in a dogfight taking place at a speed of several hundred kilometers per hour, with laser bolts and debris flying all over. Without good instincts you were a dead pilot very fast and his had always been expert.

It was an uncomfortable thought: if his instincts had been compromised that would make him a liability on the battlefield.

He tried again to reconstruct exactly what had happened, what he had thought as he exited the fresher that had made him act like he did, but all that he could remember was a haze of outrage and anger wrapped in red.

Poe swallowed, discomfited, because that was even more unnerving. If compromised instincts were bad, succumbing to battle rage was ten times worse.

Poe sighed, subconsciously rubbing his temple, trying to ease the low burning ache in his head. He needed to get checked when they got back to base, it was possible that what Kylo Ren had done to him had had more severe consequences than he had thought, or maybe it was just years worth of battle stress finally beginning to show itself. Either way, he couldn't let it happen again.

Reflexively his hand moved to the pouch that hung about his neck. It contained a lump of resin from the Force tree that grew on his family's ranch on Yavin. It had fallen into his lap on the day that he left for the New Republic's training academy and he had carried it with him as a good luck charm ever since. But maybe its luck had run out, it certainly had done him no good on Jakku.

Finn grunted in his sleep and nuzzled closer to Poe.

Or maybe its powers had never been meant just for him.

 _Where would Finn be if Poe hadn't been captured?_ He was a resourceful man, surely he would have found another way off the _Finalizer_ , but they would never have met. That was something Poe couldn't regret. No matter what Kylo Ren had done to him it was worth it just to meet Finn.

Still, the thought of the Dark Sider chilled Poe's blood. He never wanted to see the man again. He knew Rey had seen him without his mask and said he'd looked quite young, but Poe honestly did not care. Whoever was behind that mask was not worth the time it took to say his name.

 _Rey_. If he hadn't been caught Finn would never have met her either and she would still be on Jakku struggling to survive. He hoped she was okay with Luke Skywalker, wherever they were. But then, Rey was the kind of person who could manage in any situation.

So maybe his charm had worked for all of them.

He sighed again.

Either way, he needed a checkup when they got back. Of course, they had to get back in the first place. Hopefully the First Order hadn't found out exactly who the people who smuggled weapons to the rebel cell were, but just in case they'd had better take the long way round rather than accidentally reveal the location of their new base.

Finn snuffled in his sleep again, muttering something that Poe couldn't make out and the pilot dropped a kiss on the top of his head.

“Te amo, mi cielo.”

He sank back down with a sigh. Hearing those words from Finn after everything that happened today made him feel like he was truly luckier than anyone deserved to be. He hated the thought of having scared Finn that much by sheer thoughtlessness.

Poe rubbed his temple again, once more trying to banish his headache, with no more luck than before, and the dull throb seemed to dog his heels even when he finally slipped into an uneasy slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> I try to be one instalment ahead of my posting, unfortunately that isn't so this time. I'm not yet done with Part 6, in part because it is turning out to be the longest instalment so far. I hope to get it done in time for posting next weekend.  
> If you want to cheer me on you can do so over on [tumblr](https://luminousfinn.tumblr.com/).


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